7 Words To Inspire Your Children

Growing a child is one of the most challenging roles a parent has to play. It does not stop on giving the right education but more importantly growing him the best of himself.
Communication is one key to growing a responsible child. In growing the best possible version of your child, the right choice of words and phrases is crucial. Common words and phrases no matter how well-intended can be emotionally and psychologically damaging. Young brains are still developing in their teen years. Do not expect your kids to process words, context, and nuance as the adult brains.
Some parents may think that what they say to their children seems harmless or even constructive on the surface, but, to experts, they hurt than help.

Her are seven common phrases and their alternative that will help build character and get your message across in a better way.

1. You say "You are the best!" They hear "You're job in life is to make me happy." Better say it "You should be proud of your hard work."
According to Social Psychologist Carol Dweck, PhD who tested the effects of over praise on 400 Year Five students in Columbia University, kids praised for "trying hard" did better on tests and were likely to take on difficult assignments than those lauded for being "smart."
"Praising attributes or abilities makes a false promise that success will come to you because you have that trait, and it devalues effort, so children are afraid to take on challenges", says Dweck. "They figure they'd better quit while ahead."
Too much praise can back fire. Talk the overall effort of your child than besting all her classmates in English, in this way he won't think that you only love him when he got the highest score or achieve the most.

2. You say "We can't afford that!" They hear "Money is the answer to everything."
Better say it "The store is filled with great things today, but we've lost at home already and we've not going to bring home anything more."
You want your children to have the sense of abundance until the age of five-not in material way, but in the sense that what you do have brings joy", says Marcy Axness, PhD, a child development specialist and founder of quantumparenting.com.
Inculcate in your little ones mind that money is not the source of all things good in life. Be very careful in saying how he can't have something because you can't afford it. Better sit-down and worked out together that he can have it by saving a small part from his allowance.
3. You say "Don't worry - it'll be OK!" They hear "You're such a drama queen!"
Better say it "I totally understand what you must have gone through. Tell me about it"
Kids need to learn how to express feelings, work through them and move on, as opposed to trying to make them go away without expression," says Panaccione. If children feel that they shouldn't have feelings or that their feelings are bad, they'll start to lock them inside and fail to adopt healthy coping strategies, she says. It's natural for parents to console a disappointed child for not winning a medal in a declamation contest. Give him the nudge they need to deal with situations on their own by asking questions "Why do you think this happened?", "Do you have any ideas about what you can do to make it better?" You can give comfort by listening than by talking. Don't resonate with your child's mood.
4. You say "Don't talk to strangers." They hear "Anyone you don't know is trying to hurt you." Better say it "Don't talk to people who make you feel uncomfortable."
One cannot stop his child to talk to the bus driver in paying for his fare nor to a pharmacist when buying a medicine. There were cases wherein children are victimized by people they know well. Thus it makes sense to tell children not to talk to anyone, acquaintance, or stranger, who makes them feel uncomfortable.
5. You say "Make sure you share." They hear "Give away your stuff." Better say it "Rose would you like to play with your doll for a while, but it's still yours and she will give it back."
"Young kids don't distinguish clearly between themselves and the objects they own or cherish, like their teddy bear or favorite toy train," says psychologist David Elkind, PhD. So in effect you're asking them to give away part of themselves."
Don't force your child to relinquish ownership. You may label your child's toy with his name before prying it out of his hands.
6. You say "Why did you failed in your test, why did you hit your sister, etc.?" They hear "You messed up again." Better say it "My guess is that you failed because you did not study, but that's still not OK."
Don’t be a directive in disguise by saying "Don't you think you should put on your jacket so you won't feel cold", this approach may solve short term headache but creates a long term problem. Don't shame your child into confession. When your child "messed up" take this as an opportunity to start a productive dialog.